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You are here: Home / General / Shoulder Augmentation

Shoulder Augmentation

December 4, 2007 By Al Martine

Either my shoulders have become wider (can shoulders become fat?) or the size of the stewardesses asses hips have become wider.  Every single walk down the isle by one of our fuller-figured American Airlines folks has resulted in a cotton burn on my shoulder.

MBA Analysis – this is what happens when an airline has to make people redundant starting with the people with the least seniority (and uh, hip width).  The average arse hip size increases by x%, thus impacting free space in the isles.  Which, negatively impacts customer satisfaction.  I wonder if annual reports list average employee age per position or the girth of stewards and st’esses.

Does Boeing take into account these things?  I can see predictive modeling based around Krispy Kreme Donuts, age, gender and seniority.  "Hold up boys, looks like Delta’s running low on funds – widen the isle again."  Wider isle, less seats, less revenue, oh this is a downward spiral.

I wonder if these are the models from those Ivory lotion commercials?  More lotion sold due to great volume per application. 

I shall consider a shoulder augmentation for my Christmas wish list.

Yes, I am walking a fine line with this post, but so would you if there were a tire mark for a cotton burn on your right shoulder.

Filed Under: General

Comments

  1. Hammy says

    December 5, 2007 at 12:58 am

    I get hit more by the carts than the attendants, but I also fly US-Scareways.

    Then again, your clavicle did look swollen when we were loading your furniture. It would have been rude to say anything though…..

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