No, I don’t mean the loud ones in a movie theatre or the ones who continuously bump into you in line at an amusement park. I’m talking about ideas in a meeting or in a paper. Ahh, the paper. The glorious (‘gosh that thing seems tough’ from a particularly clueless first year student) second year project paper.
Grant and I have created a thing of beauty for our clients. The damn thing is good; it’s helpful and if our clients follow it; there’s a good chance they’ll be really successful (at least that’s what our recommendations say). By my calculations our doc will also help sort out global warming, help W. Bush speak better and allow Hillary to be, you know, likeable.
Somewhere in the footnotes there’s the answer to Life the University and Everything. Hell we even clearly define, 42. We’ve answered the oil problem and have an especially good graph for the Israeli / Palestinian conflict.
All within the 15K word limit you ask? Oh no. Not by a long shot. While some of our fellow students are trying to add words to hit the minimum Grant and I have blown through it like Cocaine at a Kate Moss clothing launch. By my rough estimations we’re around 10 to 15 thousand, that’s worth repeating 10,000 to 15,000 words over limit. Every third word read, needs to be removed from the word count.
This is a problem and stems partly from the size of the job; partly from what we thought was necessary to include.
So now that the client doc is nearing completion; it’s time to kill kids. Or move them, or remove all the conjunctions and convert everything to bullet points (no need to be a sentence). Or make everything a screen capture so the word count function in Word doesn’t work.
Our next meeting is to review everything and plot infanticide. It’s sad. Terribly sad, all those ideas lost, but no one needs the new oil, anyway.